The Dating Game crossed my life three times, and each one took a different turn.
The first was through my friend Murray Rose, the Australian Olympic swimming champion. Before I met him in Los Angeles in 1966, Murray had appeared as the celebrity bachelor on The Dating Game. He didn’t pick the contestant named Bobbie—but later met her anyway, and they eventually married. Bobbie was beautiful, intelligent, and had a natural magnetism—hard to miss. Years later, after their divorce, Murray married Jodi, a gifted ballet dancer and his perfect match.
What brought Murray and me together wasn’t swimming or Hollywood—it was a shared search for understanding. In the 1960s we were part of a small private study group built around Harold W. Percival’s “Thinking and Destiny.” We met twice a week, wrote essays, and read them aloud. That continued for decades.
The mutual respect between us came from those principles. We were young, optimistic truth seekers, trying to understand where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. That created a strong bond.
Murray’s favorite outing was body surfing at The Wedge in Newport Beach. I was a pretty good bodysurfer myself, but I remember one day out there I almost lost it—the waves were just too strong. Murray, on the other hand, handled it like it was nothing. He was completely at home in the water.
We spent time like that—at the beach, talking, thinking, just being there. Sometimes it was as simple as a game of chess in the sand, two minds working things out in our own way.
Murray stood up as best man at my wedding. That said everything about our friendship.
Mer, Best Man at my wedding
Later, seeing him with Jodi and Trevor, you could see where life had taken him. He had found the right balance. In the water, with his family, he was exactly where he belonged.
Murray with Trevor-always at home in the water Murray, Jodi, and Trevor
On my 50th birthday, Murray and Jodi gave me a card with a handwritten note that reflected the bond we shared over the years. In it, Murray wrote about the “road of conscious realization” and the “precious moments fully experienced,” and closed by saying we embraced each other with “love and mutual recognition.”
That phrase said it all.
50th Birthday card from Murray and Jodi
The third time The Dating Game crossed my life was during my years with LAPD Homicide. I arrested Rodney Alcala, later known as “The Dating Game Killer.” I extradited him from back East, and he was convicted and sent to prison on a child molestation charge.
He was released after serving only a short sentence, cleared by a prison psychiatrist as fit to reenter society. He would go on to murder multiple young women.
He was right up there with DOD.
Funny how things connect. Same show. Very different lives. Light and Dark.
Murray, who was born in England and raised in Australia, had a dry sense of humor. His favorite nickname for me was “SOD,” and I called him “Mer.”
Murray Rose (1939–2012). Rest in peace, my good friend.
Hey Marcus: As I recall you laid down a few flushes and inside straights and raked in a few pots.
Sure miss Mer. Jodi and I email on occasion. She’s teaching ballet in Sydney and has a cutie of a doggie almost as cute as my Rima. Best to you. Hope we can hook up down the road. Steve
Such a nice tribute to a wonderful, thoughtful guy. So important to cherish your friendship. It doesn’t come along often. I miss him, too, and his very grounded perspective of the world. Happy I got to share many special times with him, Jodi and Bobbie.
Murray with Trevor-always at home in the water Murray, Jodi, and Trevor
A cool guy and a heckuva poker player. It was an honor to have my money taken by him and you.
Hey Marcus: As I recall you laid down a few flushes and inside straights and raked in a few pots.
Sure miss Mer. Jodi and I email on occasion. She’s teaching ballet in Sydney and has a cutie of a doggie almost as cute as my Rima. Best to you. Hope we can hook up down the road. Steve
Such a nice tribute to a wonderful, thoughtful guy. So important to cherish your friendship. It doesn’t come along often. I miss him, too, and his very grounded perspective of the world. Happy I got to share many special times with him, Jodi and Bobbie.